
An
excerpt from the short story
by Alejandro Murguía
She
was hanging around the parking lot at an AM/PM in Sacramento, a little
Chicanita with tight jeans tucked into lizard-skin cowboy boots and
a small suitcase held together with duct tape. Her sunglasses sparkled
with rhinestones giving her a glitzy look that didn't fit in around
here, among the trash and homeless pushing shopping carts. This was
the rough part of Sacra, where desperate women turned tricks in cars
under the shadow of the State Building. She wasn't really hitchhiking,
me entiendes, but she didn't exactly need a sign that said here was
a huiza ready to split Dodge.
I'd nearly finished pumping the fifteen
gallons of Supreme when she came up behind me and said, "Can
I ride with you to the freeway?" Her voice had something about
it that made my stomach tighten up a notch.
I turned around real slow like and
there she was in the shimmering heat of the parking lot, suitcase
at her feet, hands on her hips, and jeans that looked like she'd taken
a brush and painted them on, being careful to detail the seams and
pockets. I didn't know if she carried good luck or bad, but I should've
guessed. Lizard-skin cowboy boots. Rhinestone sunglasses. A wild bush
of hair framing her oval face. I've always been a chump for women,
so I said, "Orale, hop in."
Without another word she threw her
suitcase in the back seat and slid in front, against the window, away
from me, a coil of plastic bracelets bunched up on her left wrist.
I'd been a long time in the country without female company except
for Sage Pumo, a Hoopa Indian, wide as a bear, so this little smoke
of a woman had most if not all of my attention.
I floored the Camaro and shot out of
the parking lot. "So what's your name?" she asked. I told
her mine and she told me hersAdelita Guerra. "Nice to meet
you," she said. "It's always good to make new friends."
She offered her hand, and I shook it. It was a worker's hand, rough
and stained from picking walnuts, maybe yesterday. She dug into her
front pockets for a frayed pack of Juicy Fruit and offered me one.
"Naw. Go ahead," I said. I didn't tell her I hate gum. She
chewed, smacking her lips, happy as a kid on a school trip. I had
Los Lobos playing on the tape deck, "La Pistola y El Corazon,"
music that makes you crave a nice cold one. It'd been years since
I'd drunk a beer, but you never forget.
When we came to the freeway on-ramp
she sat up. "This doesn't look good. Can I ride to the next town?"
I glanced at her from the corner of my eye and that tightness in my
stomach just got tighter. I couldn't exactly kick her out in the middle
of nowhere, so I hit the on-ramp with a thump and revved the Camaro
out, angry at what I'd gotten myself into.
I kept my mouth shut and my eyes on
the road, not wanting to look at her. Still, I could sense her gauging
me, like a good hustler on the prowl. On my way to Sacra I'd seen
a head-on collision by Redding, two cars twisted into pretzels with
no survivors, and that's what I was thinking about a few minutes later
when she asked, "Pues, where we going?"
I checked the rear-view mirror for
Highway Patrol and ignored her question. Adelita shrugged as if she
didn't care, and tapped her boots, grooving to the music. It took
a few miles before I settled in to enjoy the big monster working under
the hood of my cherry-red Camaro Z28 that made the white stripes of
the road zip by in a blur. A string of red-and-black magic beads swayed
from my rearview mirror, keeping time. Then she started drumming her
fingers on the dashboard, like she was playing a piano or something,
and I had to sit up and pay attention. She held her head up, like
a prize filly, with arrogance and confidence. That's what first pulled
me to her, made me question myself. I moved into the fastlane to get
clear of an eighteen-wheeler that was hogging the road, but I had
no real hurry to get anywhere. I tugged at my goatee and pondered
her question. Where are we going? We? I hadn't thought about us as
we. More likeher there, and me here. Que no? I lived happy outside
of Weaverville, along a desolate stretch of gravel road at the edge
of the Trinity Wilderness, a free man, just me and my music. My nearest
neighbor, Sage Pumo, occupied a cabin several miles down Highway 299.
At night, I had a clear view of the stars in the California sky. So
I didn't need complications, and I had enough grief since my dog Reagan
got squashed by a logging truck.
I looked her in the eye. "I'm
headed south."
"Then I'll ride with you. I'm
going to Vegas."
I took a closer look at her. "Why's
that?"
"I'm a singer. I sing rancheras,
huapangos, boleros. I also play the accordion. I'm going to be a star."
"There's a lot of talent in Vegas.
Lots."
She frowned for just a second, like
that thought had never crossed her mind.
"But I'm good, I'm real good.
When I sing I feel it all inside me. In here." And she jabbed
a thumb at her heart.
Man, some people are real naive. I
didn't want to discourage her with tales of good girls gone bad selling
themselves for a dime of meth, so I flipped the tape to the other
side.
We were crossing the heart of the San
Joaquin Valley, miles of tomatoes and strawberries separated by irrigation
ditches, and crop dusters flying low, spraying a fine pesticide mist
over the perfectly laid out furrows. Two thin vapor trails, almost
faded, crossed in the eggshell blue of the sky. The sun was slanting
down behind us, setting the mountains on fire. Adelita removed her
sunglasses and laid them on the dashboard. She squinted at the mean
farm fields, and the corner of her eyes crinkled up where the first
crow's-feet were beginning to take a grip. She crossed one knee over
the other, drummed her fingers some more on the armrest, and hummed
a tune I couldn't make out. I didn't want to stare at her, but she
was kinda pretty in a country sort of way. In her late twenties I
guessed. Don't get me wrong, Adelita seemed game, like she'd been
around the block a couple of dozen times. Her mouth had that hard
edge women get after 25 when they figure out life's not going to treat
them right.
But I wanted some details. "So
where you from?"
She tossed her head back over one shoulder.
"From there."
"Sacramento?"
"Colusa."
Colusa, land of dust and walnuts. I
could see why she'd want to leave. "How'd you get to Sacra?"
She answered with a throaty, wicked
laugh that stood the hairs on my arm at attention.
I took a wild guess. "You running
away?"
"You could say that."
"A bad relationship?"
"Sort of."
"What? Husband?"
"Are you loco? No husband."
"You have family? Kids?"
"You sure ask a lot of questions."
"Maybe you should go back."
"Never."
"The kids'll be worried about
you. I can always turn around."
"Try it and I'll jump out right
here. I'll never let a man tell me what to do. Ever. I'm through with
that."
I could tell she was serious. And it
really wasn't my business. We passed Santa Nella and I had the Camaro
doing eighty, and I was thinking that driving alone ain't so bad.
I checked the fuel gauge and figured out when I would need to make
another pit stop. Up ahead, a black, ominous cloud funneled out of
the middle divider; something was burning. I eased off a notch on
the gas.
I noticed she was staring at my tats.
I had the Virgen of Guadalupe emblazoned
in India ink on my right forearm. Two chubby angels beneath her feet
unfurled a banner that said "Perdoname Virgencita." On each
knuckle of my right hand was tattooed a letter. My other forearm had
a blue heart, and inside the heart "Norma/Por Vida." I was
sixteen when I did that one. I even had a little Native American glyph
on my shoulder for Sage.
Adelita was eyeballing the Virgen,
so I said, "You want to touch? Go ahead."
She scooted closer to me and touched
the Virgen de Guadalupe. Her fingernails were like needles puncturing
my skin. She left her hand on my arm a second longer than necessary,
as if feeling my strength.
"Ever seen tats like these?"
I said.
"Not really. Where'd you get them?"
I shrugged. "Tough tattoos. Long,
sad stories."
"You don't want to tell me, do
you? What's the matter, don't you trust me?"
"It's not a question of trust."
"What is it then? You afraid I'll
tell the National Enquirer?"
Crazy woman. I don't know why I said,
"You'd look real fine with one."
She shot a look at me that burned right
through my skull.
"Where'd you put it?"
That surprised me. Where would I put
it? Where would I tattoo her for life? I pressed my thumbnail just
under her blouse into her shoulder leaving a red mark like a half
moon. The air around that part of the valley must have been highly
charged with electric particles, because touching her hit me like
a live wire. A pure jolt of energy. I would not lie, carnal. At the
same time, I saw the object on the middle divider was a semi rig that
had jackknifed, the steel cab all mangled, charred, and smoking like
a plane wreck. A fire crew had hosed the wreckage with streams of
water, but it was too late. No man could have survived that accident.
We passed by it in a flash.
Adelita scooted back to her seat and
I mentally rehearsed the business I had in El Ley. Under a false compartment
in the trunk were forty Ziploc bags of red-haired sinsemilla. This
stash belonged to Sage, her whole harvest. Her first husband had left
her seven hundred acres of prime mountain real estate complete with
underground springs; her second husband had left her a tractor. I
was just her neighbor and a hired hand, but already felt like husband
number three. I helped plant the seedlings during the spring and watered
them in summer, running a PVC pipe from the underground source to
the budding plants. Sage held the main percentage, and I usually made
enough to keep in buds during the winter months and, if I was lucky,
to survive till the next harvest. This year, though, I had offered
to unload the crop with my main man in Pico Rivera. Tyrannus Mex was
a boxcar of meanness, the main connect in East Los, and he paid cash
on the line. So I was making the rounds with ten pounds of the highest
grade herb in the world. Real triple-A stuff. Sage and I were looking
at maybe fifty grand in pure profits, just like the big boys running
paper scams. My percentage would be enough to live in style for a
whole year.
But working up close in the mountains
has a way of stripping you down to bare emotions. After toiling in
the herb garden, I would relax with Sage in the sweat lodge where
I had a chance to consider her ample, hairless body and her sizable
breasts under braided black hair. One of her nipples pointed up and
the other pointed down, and that just increased my curiosity. During
those late summer months a female bear had taken to showing up every
morning around my cabin, and when the bear started looking good I
feared for my sanity. So instead I squeezed my skinny hips between
Sage's broad thighs, and she rubbed us both to warmth and human comfort.
The night before my trip, Sage and
I were snuggled under her Pendleton blanket. Suddenly she sat up.
"Maybe you'd better not make this trip. I had a dream last night
about you, and your luck's about to run out." "Naw,"
I said to Sage, "I don't believe in dreams." Then we humped
like bears in the woods, with lots of growls and thrusts and groans
and moans, but not much passion. Sleeping with Sage Pumo wasn't exactly
love, but it was convenient.
I did have other business in El Ley,
and the thought of it kept me quiet for miles. El Ley had stopped
being my town a long time ago. I was going back to bury my only brother,
a half brother really. Even though he was the product of my father's
affairs, and we never lived in the same house, we spent a lot of time
together as teenagers. We have a saying in the barrio that fit the
two of usBlood is thicker than mud. But he'd been on the streets
a while, and I'd lost touch with him. Ten years maybe without hearing
from him, the yellow envelope from the V.A. office with the cold notice.
He'd either been robbed or beaten, or both, with nothing in his pockets
but thirty-four cents when they found him drowned in the El Ley River.
The El Ley River that's about three inches deep. I wondered if they
would bury him with the box full of medals he'd brought back from
Vietnam. He'd been an honor student in high schoolwho would
have guessed this would be his end? But it was. And the anger of it
kept me burning, kept me awake many nights. I was going back because
it was the right thing, but I wanted to leave quick and clean before
the jaws of El Ley clamped down on me again.
Adelita pressed her knees together
and withdrew into her own world. I scraped all thoughts about her
out of my mind and drove on. We were by Kettleman City, the road like
an arrow aimed at nothing, the sky big as a canvas, with two small
puff clouds blowing across the blueness like tumbleweeds. The only
signs of the road warnedPATROLLED BY AIRCRAFT. This empty land
could make anyone a desperado.
"I'm taking this exit." I
said. "You decide what you want to do."
She sat up, looking at me as if I'd
insulted her, then she turned away and looked out the window, like
there was something to see, the Grand Canyon perhaps.
After parking, I went to the head and
took a long leak, taking my time to shake my thing dry, hoping that
maybe Adelita would be gone by the time I got back. But when I stepped
out there, she was still scrunched down in the car. So I bought a
pack of sunflower seeds in the Quick Stop and kept my eyes on her
just in case she'd step out to stretch her legs or use the head. But
she wasn't taking any chances. I felt sorry for her and brought her
a soda when I came back.
"I guess that means you want to
ride," I said.
"That's right," she said.
If women are a puzzle, this one had
a thousand mismatched pieces. I pulled back onto the freeway and tried
the radio for a while but picked up nothing but static and a country
preacher begging donations and spewing hate and prejudice. Just what
this country needs. So I snapped it off. Adelita was chewing on a
hangnail, not looking at the road.
Finally I said, "So what songs
you know?"
She looked at me like a puppy that
wants to please. "You want me to sing?"
"No. I want you to tap dance backwards."
She put one hand over her mouth to
hide her smile. Then she sang, bajito at first, a little unsure of
herself, one of those classic boleros from long ago, "Perfidia,"
a song of passion, heartache, and betrayal. Linda Ronstadt had nothing
to worry about. Not yet anyway. Adelita went off-key on the high notes,
and she forgot every other line and just kinda scatted her way through
the lyrics. But her voice and phrasing simmered with a raw emotion
that moved even a cold-hearted vato like me. With a few lessons, who
knows how far she'd go?
"A
Toda Maquina" is reprinted with permission from Dorothy Parker's
Elbow: Tattoos on Writers; Writers on Tattoos, edited by Kim Addonizio
and Cheryl Dumesnil, Warner Books, 2002. The story first appeared
in This War Called Love: Nine Stories, by Alejandro Murguía,
City Lights Books, 2002.